Make Third Places Great Again

I am sure many of you are familiar with the concept of the third place. For those of you who are not, I will set the scene with a quote, “Oldenburg identifies "third places" as the public places on neutral ground where people can gather and interact. In contrast to first places (home) and second places (work), third places allow people to put aside their concerns and simply enjoy the company and conversation around them.” (Project for Public Spaces, 2008).

And the quote for context is not a slight at all, because I have only recently discovered the concept of a third place…and it was from TikTok…which I have now deleted because of that realization, which is a completely different story. I digress. Now, I could say that the pandemic is solely responsible for wiping out third places, but I believe the Internet is also responsible for some of that blame. Some people don’t even have second places anymore like those who work at home! Leaving the house isn’t even a necessity anymore with sites like Amazon and Uber Eats.

At risk of sounding like a boomer, let me say that I am not completely shitting all over technology and social media, but the two have helped each other rid society of the need and/or want to even venture outside. Any basic task can be done from your fingertips. It is hard for me to diss on technology when I am an avid consumer of almost every social media application available. I also can't go on without saying that there is a certain appreciation I hold for these applications and the ease they have created to contact and stay in touch with friends who moved away or family from different countries.

Now that I have shown my gratitude, I can continue my rampage. What happened to hanging out at a coffee shop for hours on end? Or reading at the park?? Or just meeting people at a local bar?? Social interaction is dying! And yes, this is beginning to stray from an argument for the need for third places to a rant on why the Internet has ruined society, but the two go hand in hand. Real life social interaction = better mental health.

The need for third places is honestly at an all time high. Especially when mental health as a society--I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say it- is at an all-time low. As someone who commutes about an hour to work and an hour home for a job that takes up nine hours of my day, I can testify to the desperate need for a third place. It is absolutely soul sucking to only go between work and home 5 days a week consecutively. For those of you who are in college reading this, please for the love of God appreciate the environment you are in right now because you will never be surrounded by so many third places in your life. There is really no feeling like going to an on-campus coffee shop or the school library after work or between classes. Not having a third place is like a complete loss of identity–who am I when I am not in the office or at home?

Some third places I am currently trying to make regular appearances at are Barnes & Noble and some local coffee shops. All excellent choices in my opinion, who doesn't love B&N? But here is where the other problem lies–who can afford third places? Definitely not a fresh grad with an entry level job. Who can afford a book these days without the buy one, get one half off deal?? Or a medium iced latte that's less than $5? Nonexistent. And God forbid I want oat milk. It costs $8 for a beer not including a $2 tip for the unwritten rule of tipping your bartender for opening a bottle for you. The cocktails/mixed drinks that start at $18 just make you cry on the inside. Finding parking at cool public places like parks can be a total nightmare and at times you may have to settle for paid parking. All this on top of the taxi cab meter ticking in the back of my head every mile I drive further from my house because gas is so damn expensive.

Why go through all the work and eat all those expenses when I can just go straight home after a long day? I can go on my phone and be entertained. I can “hang out” with my friends and people I know online or I don’t have to at all. All of my needs are met online. Ready Player One eat your heart out.

My point is that it feels like it’s getting more expensive just to exist. Life is hard enough grinding through a work day + commute + other life obligations like doctor’s appointments and oil changes and waiting in line at the post office. It can be so easy to just surrender to the comfort of going home and settling for a digital substitute. *cue “Do You Hear the People Sing”*

But we must persevere in the face of adversity. You can’t fight the tide but go with it. You can put the blame on the pandemic but at some point we’ll need to take third places into our own hands for our mental health’s sake.

There are a couple ways to look at this. There is the put up or shut up perspective. If you want to be in these third places so bad? Great– make enough money to be able to afford them. No one is forcing you to hang out at these places. “Just stop being poor!” or better yet do you think the government would be open to giving every American a Third Place Relief Check? Does anyone else hear crickets?

A more realistic perspective is coming to terms that life is hard and fun places with fun stuff can be expensive. But it doesn’t have to be. What if we redefined what environments can be third places? Can we reclaim settings that are easily accessible and squeeze all the juice out of them. Can we make libraries cool and a place where a ground of friends can hang out while being respectful? Can we somehow find ways to make it easier to carpool to parks and other scenic spots in our cities? Or maybe the solution just starts with us getting more serious about having fun. About embracing more in-home game nights with our friends. More in-home happy hours. More in-home movie nights. Maybe the answer is staying at home together.

Our third places are like an endangered species on the brink of extinction from being reasonably accessible. But it’s up to us to find ways to make fun, fun again. Because everybody deserves to kick their feet up after a long day at work. Why relegate ourselves to the internet when there’s a whole world out there ready for us to live in?

Some of Skylar’s Favorite Third Places, including but not limited to: dive bars, movie theaters, local coffee shops, book stores, outdoors, etc…