The Trouble Kids: Entitled Success, Unbridled Disappointment
I never thought I’d ever work with kids, let alone teach them. But life has a funny way of surprising you. Through a series of twists and turns, I’ve managed to build a small career in teaching that has led me to my current position as being a lecturer for 6 different freshmen classes at San Diego State University. Teaching has been one of the greatest things to happen to me because I get to see myself in so many iterations of myself in my own classrooms, which truly developed into this unexpected love for a career that was never on my radar to begin with.
But...it’s that time of the year again. When the semester’s about 82% over and students come crawling out the woodwork to reach out to me with different reasons as to why they couldn’t complete this assignment on time or why they didn’t show up to X amount of class sessions.
I’ve compiled a general list of all of these reasons that I’ve received throughout the semester up until this point:
I scheduled a doctor’s appointment during our class session so I couldn’t make it (um...)
I got sick last weekend and didn’t want to get anyone else sick (O.K. understandable)
I had a family emergency and didn’t bring my laptop so I couldn’t do the assignments (excusable but seems a little naive)
I will be out of the country from X to Y, even though it’s the middle of the semester (hmm)
I frew up this morning and feel pretty sick. Can’t make it today (O.K. legitimate)
I decided I wanted to go home early this weekend so that’s why I wasn’t in class (thanks for the transparency but...)
I’m enrolled in another class at the same time as yours so that’s why I haven’t been able to make it to class these past couple weeks or do the assignments (wait what?)
My brother tested positive for COVID so I’m staying home to play it safe (Honestly, forgot that COVID protocols were even a thing in 2023)
Wanted to reach out and let you know I forgot about class today. It was unintentional and was completely my fault. (Love the accountability)
Bronchitis. Can’t make it. (Should I not drink the water here anymore?)
Maintenance guy from housing is here fixing something so I can’t leave (Yes, you can. And the maintenance guy isn’t going to steal any of your stuff, he’s probably got 1,000 more work orders to fix)
Hi, I’m just not going to class today. Let me know what I missed! (Uh, what?!)
I got a concussion the other day so I shouldn’t go to class today (I am not going to question concussion protocol)
I accidentally forgot to do the assignments. Do you think I could get an extension on them? (This happened at least twice a week)
Sorry– sick again. Won’t be able to make it! (Also another twice a week occurrence)
I think what’s tough when you’re put in this position is that you want to believe every student, work with them, grant them some grace, and make sure you’re being reasonable but also sticking to your guns. But, if you look back at that list, what you don’t see is the individual student telling you that they’re sick again– who is that same student who isn’t involved in class, doesn’t do the work, and that can feel like they’re too busy to at least pretend to give their attention to me for 50 minutes a week.
I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, but it does make you a little jaded when the same student has been sick or had some sort of excuse for the past 3 weeks. And coincidentally, many of these students coming up with these excuses or the ones who are asking for assignment extensions are the same ones that are on the borderline of not passing the class. They are the same handful of students pleading how this will be the last extension they ask for or how it’s not fair that they didn’t realize they had to complete an assignment even though 95% of their classmates are passing with flying colors.
I don’t teach the hardest class in the world. I know that I do tend to grant leniency on these students since this is their first year in college. But, it baffles me how these students are so full of excuses and reasons why they didn’t do the work, why they couldn’t complete the assignment, why it isn’t fair they are in the position they are in now when they know very clearly what it takes to be successful in my class. I know it’s a cliché amongst professors but, “read the syllabus, people!!!” I guess what I’m saying is that they’re aware of what they have to do but in one way or another put up these barriers for themselves and get in their own way.
And look, I can play the Old Man Nate card, saying that this is just how this Gen Z generation is: lazy and entitled. But that’s just an unfair blanket statement to make about a group of people that I know is entirely not true. The overwhelming majority of my students are hardworking, passionate, and are a blast to teach. Their honesty, transparency, and overall boldness is refreshing and in many ways inspiring to me.
But like I said before, I see a lot of different versions of myself in a lot of these students, especially who I am now with the excuse-filled “trouble kids” Because, in a lot of ways I’m exactly like them. Not with my professional work ethic, but with my creative work ethic. With“professional” jobs, you’re entrusted to carry out a certain task and then you’re compensated for doing that task. Kind of like how in school, you knew exactly what you had to do in order to get an “A”. Type so many words, answer X amount of problems, participate and just show up.
I started working so many of these “professional jobs” that I started to pick up in the real world (outside of college), you don’t have to do all of that stuff to get a full paycheck. In the real world, you can do the bare minimum and make a living doing just that: minimum.
“In school you learn the lesson, then take the test. But in life, you are always taking the test and it’s up to you to learn the lesson it’s teaching you.” That’s from Mark, owner of Happy Battle Surf, and a good friend of mine.
I think, in a lot of ways, I had become one of those “trouble kids”. I got used to making excuses. Call it lifestyle creep. Call it entitlement. Call it comparing my life to what I saw others had and saying to myself, “I deserve that, too. I want that now.”
And I think, in a lot of ways, I had been out of the classroom for so long, I’d forgotten what I needed to do to get the A. I’d forgotten that I needed to put in real, hard work. That life would throw me curveballs and I’d have to be patient with myself and understand if there was a setback. I’d forgotten all of the hard lessons I learned in film school. I’d forgotten the magic I felt when I wrote something in a script that I wasn’t sure would land, and it resonating with other people during a table read. I’d forgotten those moments of having another greasy pizza dinner with the crew 14 hours into a 16-hour shoot day, making a half-baked student film idea happen. I’d forgotten the feeling of wanting because I was more scared of the feeling of struggling. Of not having everything together. Of planning so hard in an idea, only for it to fall flat on its face. Of not being perfect.
Because, in my head, someone my age should have it all figured out. Someone with all of my degrees should be a master of their craft. It should all be easy for me already, right?
So I became complacent with being okay with where I was instead of wanting more. Because wanting more meant risk. And risk meant struggling. And struggling meant pain. I was scared of putting myself in pain and in some ways, I still am. And I know I’m no longer in a classroom (at least as a student), but I know there are people out there who are doing exactly what I want to do, making things I want to make, telling stories that excite me, and show me that it is possible to be successful and make a living as a filmmaker.
And I know that there will always be an excuse I can put in front of myself and then later say “life’s not fair.” Because it’s not. Old Man Nate has learned that life is often not fair and very hard. Most things are not solely based on merit alone. And bad people who don’t play by the rules still succeed. But that doesn’t stop so many talented artists from taking that step of wanting more, despite the risks. So if they are willing to put in the hard work of making mistakes and learning what life has to teach them, so can I.
by
Nate Velasco
DEC 2023
